what your favorite movie says about you

[ from Jest Magazine]
by Christian Finnegan
Based on the phenomenal success of What My Favorite Album Says About Me, Christian Finnegan has expanded his repertoire to the world of cinema. Is your favorite movie here? Read on to find out what message you are sending out to the world. If you don’t see your favorite movie here, drop a line to crazy@jestmag.com to let us know, and we might include it in a future issue. So, without any further adieu, we present:
Austin Powers in Goldmember
I consider myself the funniest guy in accounts receivable.
Casablanca
My favorite movie is actually St. Elmo’s Fire, but I’m tired of being ragged on.
Rushmore
My adolescence wasn’t nearly as traumatic as I make it out to be.
Sleepless in Seattle
I’ve been actively planning my wedding day since age 9.
The Bridge on the River Kwai
No one needs one of those fancy little portable phones, you know. Oh, and by the way, what the heck is a “Palm Pilot”?
The Big Chill
Hey kids, wanna hang out with your dad tonight? You know, just listen to some tunes, maybe rent a movie? No? Oh…okay. Have a nice time then. [Sigh]
Reservoir Dogs
Check out my extensive collection of pornographic Japanese comic books!
Grease
My relentless enthusiasm and determination to see the sunny side of life inspires intense hatred in those around me.
The Shawshank Redemption
Just because I consider myself extremely philosophical, don’t make the mistake of assuming I’ve actually read any philosophy.
Bad Boys
You can catch me every other Friday, kickin’ it in line at the check-cashing place.
The Breakfast Club
I jokingly refer to high school as being the best years of my life (but the sad thing is, I’m not really joking.)
The Matrix
In an alternate universe, I’d totally have a girlfriend.
Midnight Express
Until I work up the courage to tell my wife I’m gay, this will have to do.
Breakfast At Tiffany’s
I’m not nearly as cute and idiosyncratic as I fancy myself.
The Empire Strikes Back
I wonder what George Lucas is doing right at this very moment. Is he eating? Sleeping? Editing? Did he get my letter?
Coming To America
Me, a racist? That’s crazy. I think black people are hilarious!
Repo Man
Anyone who a) works for a living; b) won’t loan me money; and/or c) demands that I pay back the money already loaned to me is a Fascist.
Donnie Darko
Horn-rimmed glasses? Check. Fastidiously “messy “ hair? Check. Aloof, couldn’t-be-bothered facial expression? Check. Looks like I finally found the photo for my MakeOutClub.com profile!
Pay It Forward
Just kidding.

5 thoughts on “what your favorite movie says about you

  1. E nenhum Hitchcock? E nenhum da Bette Davis? Eu tenho que ficar com Breakfast at Tiffany’s então, né? Hehehe!
    E hoje “achei” My Fair Lady em DVD duplo, CHEIO de extras e documentários, por míseros 30 reais! OBA!!

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